A moment to type?
Liam is glued to another Bob the Builder episode. He is all about the heavy machinery. Gabe WAS sleeping, although now I hear him grunting and stirring a bit.
The past two weeks have been easy and hard. Easy on me. I feel great and like I never had a baby, except (TMI ALERT!!!!) for the lovely perky, milk-filled (and leaking) breasts. Wish they'd stay this firm!
ANYWAY, the hard part. Mainly the baby wanting to be held all the time (those silly newborns), and Liam not leaving the baby alone. He pushes the swing, tries to pick the baby up, pees all over the floor, screams loudly when I try to take him to the store (like screaming to hear his voice, not cry-screaming), occasionally slaps the baby, tries to lay his big heavy head on the baby like he's a pillow, and generally wears me out. I feel badly about this because he is only 28 months, he hardly ever gets outside now, and I can't give him the attention I want to give him. I lost my temper last week, and told him I was going to find a school for him, to which he perked up and said, "I am going to school?" And today when the kids got in the car to leave for school, he again asked, "Can I go to preschool?"
I am mad that I said it, I am upset that he wants to go to school. Part of me thinks two or three mornings a week isn't a big deal, and part of me knows that it would be money I can't afford, and I worry. I worry the other kids won't like him as much as we do. I worry the teachers won't be that interested in my little "ginger" as the girls call him. I worry that two is just too young to put out into the hard world, especially since he has taken this downturn in the pottytraining.
I need to start working. I guess I could just not work, with Karl's student loan money coming in at some point. But, I will lose my place as a Springfield sub, and they have waiting lists for positions, and I don't like not having money coming into my bank. My mom plans to watch the boys on Mondays and Fridays, and I would pay her $20 a day. But right now, I think all day is just too much. It's hard on me sometimes. And I don't think I can go all day without nursing, yet. Ouch! A half day will be hard enough.
So, I guess I will start with half-days. I know once I am at work I will forget about the boys. A classroom full of responsibility tends to be all-consuming. But I still worry.
I am going to try a half day on Wednesday. I would prefer morning to get it over with, but I afternoon would be easier on Karl (since Liam would nap). Then if my mom is up to it, I will try a half day on Friday if I can find one and if it's worth it for $10 for her. If Karl has to leave at 1:15 or 1:30, I guess she would only have to watch them for a couple hours (the big kids get home by 3:30) and if Liam is sleeping for a big chunk of that it won't be so bad.
I could have went to work fulltime, physically at this point, but I tend to forget about the emotional part. It's hard!
As far as the kids themselves. I am, of course, completely in love with Liam. He's a pain at times, but those big blue eyes, and that chubby face just steal my heart. I think he is overweight, but Karl doesn't see it. I think we are feeding him like he's bigger and has more choices. I need to limit the snacking and sugar. That's really hard in a house with three teenagers.
Gabe is very, very sweet. So far he just wants to be held and nursed. We fought a nasty case of thrush last week (acidophilus (spell?) capsules by mouth for me and powder spread into Gabe's mouth and a vinegar/water rinse for me to clean with after feedings). Now he just has a diaper rash, which may be related, hard to know for sure. BUT so far, Gabe cries whenever we go in the car, which is a bit frustrating. He sleeps fairly well at night. Okay, he's sleeping with me. He will not sleep in his cradle, so I cradle his head on my arm, so he can eat and I get a decent amount of sleep. His doctor would not approve, but I am afraid if i try to sit up and feed him overnight, I will fall asleep and drop him. Lesser of two evils, I suppose. And the research is conflicting. Some research has shown that kids who sleep with their moms are less likely to die because the mom can respond to their needs more quickly. But he's breastfed and I don't smoke, and he seems healthy. As long as I don't take up heavy drinking, it should be fine.
Well, Gabe is definitely stirring now.
Have a good one!
Liam is glued to another Bob the Builder episode. He is all about the heavy machinery. Gabe WAS sleeping, although now I hear him grunting and stirring a bit.
The past two weeks have been easy and hard. Easy on me. I feel great and like I never had a baby, except (TMI ALERT!!!!) for the lovely perky, milk-filled (and leaking) breasts. Wish they'd stay this firm!
ANYWAY, the hard part. Mainly the baby wanting to be held all the time (those silly newborns), and Liam not leaving the baby alone. He pushes the swing, tries to pick the baby up, pees all over the floor, screams loudly when I try to take him to the store (like screaming to hear his voice, not cry-screaming), occasionally slaps the baby, tries to lay his big heavy head on the baby like he's a pillow, and generally wears me out. I feel badly about this because he is only 28 months, he hardly ever gets outside now, and I can't give him the attention I want to give him. I lost my temper last week, and told him I was going to find a school for him, to which he perked up and said, "I am going to school?" And today when the kids got in the car to leave for school, he again asked, "Can I go to preschool?"
I am mad that I said it, I am upset that he wants to go to school. Part of me thinks two or three mornings a week isn't a big deal, and part of me knows that it would be money I can't afford, and I worry. I worry the other kids won't like him as much as we do. I worry the teachers won't be that interested in my little "ginger" as the girls call him. I worry that two is just too young to put out into the hard world, especially since he has taken this downturn in the pottytraining.
I need to start working. I guess I could just not work, with Karl's student loan money coming in at some point. But, I will lose my place as a Springfield sub, and they have waiting lists for positions, and I don't like not having money coming into my bank. My mom plans to watch the boys on Mondays and Fridays, and I would pay her $20 a day. But right now, I think all day is just too much. It's hard on me sometimes. And I don't think I can go all day without nursing, yet. Ouch! A half day will be hard enough.
So, I guess I will start with half-days. I know once I am at work I will forget about the boys. A classroom full of responsibility tends to be all-consuming. But I still worry.
I am going to try a half day on Wednesday. I would prefer morning to get it over with, but I afternoon would be easier on Karl (since Liam would nap). Then if my mom is up to it, I will try a half day on Friday if I can find one and if it's worth it for $10 for her. If Karl has to leave at 1:15 or 1:30, I guess she would only have to watch them for a couple hours (the big kids get home by 3:30) and if Liam is sleeping for a big chunk of that it won't be so bad.
I could have went to work fulltime, physically at this point, but I tend to forget about the emotional part. It's hard!
As far as the kids themselves. I am, of course, completely in love with Liam. He's a pain at times, but those big blue eyes, and that chubby face just steal my heart. I think he is overweight, but Karl doesn't see it. I think we are feeding him like he's bigger and has more choices. I need to limit the snacking and sugar. That's really hard in a house with three teenagers.
Gabe is very, very sweet. So far he just wants to be held and nursed. We fought a nasty case of thrush last week (acidophilus (spell?) capsules by mouth for me and powder spread into Gabe's mouth and a vinegar/water rinse for me to clean with after feedings). Now he just has a diaper rash, which may be related, hard to know for sure. BUT so far, Gabe cries whenever we go in the car, which is a bit frustrating. He sleeps fairly well at night. Okay, he's sleeping with me. He will not sleep in his cradle, so I cradle his head on my arm, so he can eat and I get a decent amount of sleep. His doctor would not approve, but I am afraid if i try to sit up and feed him overnight, I will fall asleep and drop him. Lesser of two evils, I suppose. And the research is conflicting. Some research has shown that kids who sleep with their moms are less likely to die because the mom can respond to their needs more quickly. But he's breastfed and I don't smoke, and he seems healthy. As long as I don't take up heavy drinking, it should be fine.
Well, Gabe is definitely stirring now.
Have a good one!
