A bit light-headed

So no matter where I put my head, my new bedframe makes me feel slightly upside down. But I LOVE having so much space under my bed. I cleaned everything out of the dresser to give it to Caleb, and it all fits in baskets under the bed. What to do? What to do?

Nobody knows the troubles I've seen.....

Tierney got her ACT scores today. Well, I did, she wasn't home yet. She will be disappointed. She did very well in reading (thanks Twilight-that got her into reading), but overall she is 2 or 3 points below what she needs with her GPA to go to MSU. I could be rude and say, "I told you grades matter", but I suppose she is almost 18, she can put two and two together. Personally, I think a year or two at OTC would give her a cheaper opportunity to see if college is really what she wants. I also think a two year trade would be great for her, since she is not an academic person, and I worry since she has a serious boyfriend whether she will make it through four years of college before having a family.

I didn't. I wanted babies and to be a SAHM quite young. I wanted to finish school, but it was like this internal tug of war, smart career woman vs. mommy.
Guess I still haven't completely resolved that one, but I have such a high need for security.

It's a bit weird. The feeling I have as a parent. How did I fail her? Should I have demanded higher grades? Some parents do and it works. Should I have refused cable/internet/anything other than books as entertainment. I don't know. She is so much more than her school performance. In some ways, she makes me cringe: her language, her inability to pick out an outfit that flatters her, not caring whether her hair is brushed before she leaves the house.  Other times, though, she is such a big help to me, and when she isn't angry about some made-up drama, she is quite pleasant and affirming company. Unlike me, Tierney can manage those little complimentary statements that make someone feel better. I freeze up, or think of them two minutes too late. Now whether she believes them or not, who knows?

So yesterday, I went to Dollar General, and the cashier behind the counter said, "Jennifer?"
"No," I shook my head. I was hot and had something jammed into my ribs and just wanted to get out of there.

"Did you go to Reed and Hillcrest?" he continued.

"Yes," I looked at him more carefully now, trying to place him. "Who are you?" I am nothing, if not blunt.

"Smoky Robinson," I think he said.

I shook my head vaguely.
"I'm sorry, it's been a long time," I told him, and it really has.
Then he started naming off other black guys, as he was African-American, and finally hit upon a name a remembered, Felix Johnson.
So I nodded and said, yeah that name sounded familiar, and I was even able to conjure up a face with it.

But it wasn't until I got home and talked with Karl when I realized I probably should have just pretended to remember him. Noone wants to think they aren't memorable. Eh well. Social graces were never my strong point.