Head, Heart, and Hands

Head, Heart, and Hands is a familiar expression.
As I was reading "Before the Journey" this am, I found myself annoyed by the emotional, expressive voice of one of the narrators.
You see, I live by the head. I think my decisions through rationally, I rarely follow my heart, and even though I read books on cooking, knitting, and toymaking, I usually enjoy the read, but I don't actually follow through with my hands.

My children have said I rarely say "I love you" or hug them anymore. I find this weird. When did I stop? Because I think about them ALL the time. I make decisions base ON them. At what age do I pull away and stop the mushy gushy stuff, and why?

When they were younger I would say, "I love you" as I dropped them off at school. This slowly changed into "Have a beautiful day!", but that stopped, when Taryn, in frustration turned and said, "Mom, we are going to school. It won't be beautiful, it will be horrible, so stop saying that."

She said it a few times, and I got sick of what felt like rejection of my blessing on their day. I just say bye, now. (Interestingly, she still berates me when I talk of homeschooling Liam. Why?)

When did the hugs stop? I don't know. Probably around age eight or so. They just seemed bigger, and I just don't hug big people. I don't get anything out of it. I don't get warm fuzzies from hugs and I love yous. Love is a verb, not a group of words.

I am a teacher. I love information and sharing information. Lately, though, I wonder more and more about schools. I wonder about the addiction young people develop to their peers and their technology.

Don't get them a good cell phone and they are teased and embarrassed. Try and control the radio dial so we aren't listening to animalistic sexual, drunken party crap with a good beat, and they are angry.

I understand that kids pull away and grow up. Do they really have to soak up the mainstream and become as base and vacuous as everyone else?

I want something more for Liam. I want to engage him, head, heart, and hands.

I can't control my older kids now, but I can influence.

And here is my plan:

I will hug each of my kids at least 3x a week. Yes, I might need a checklist. I forget. This is easy where Liam is concerned. I will say I love you to them everyday. Bedtime would be easiest. I may gag at the artificiality of it (can't they "feel" the love?) but I will do it anyway.

I will actually make things. Somehow, I will find the discipline to stop reading and thinking and just sit and "do". It will be hard. And I will invite everyone to help, whether it's cooking, knitting, toymaking, whatever.

And by golly, I will NOT listen to 96.5 in my car ANYMORE! I hate that crap. Menage-a-trois, Kesha? Really?