I received an email from the lady who did my screening interview for Springfield schools. She was letting candidates know what the next step was. I was able to see a list of openings for next year, about 1/3 to half of which I am qualified. And that familiar panic started to rise again.
When I am at work, I want to be teaching. When I am at home, I like being at home and dread work.
Karl wants to go back to school (and continue working full-time), and he really wants me to stay home more. While even more days at home sounds lovely.....I just don't feel secure doing that. As it is, I am only working about two days a week. He wants me to cut back to none or one at the most. That should be my dream, right? But it's so scary.
I know on my resume, I will be able to put a continuous work history in the education field, and that's a good thing, but I still worry. At what age do I become too old to hire into a new position? I don't know the answer.
Where's my alternate universe?
Either way, I just don't see how I can go back to work a couple weeks after a baby is born. I keep trying to figure it out, but it just won't work. Even if I am willing to pay the childcare costs for two kids in daycare, a baby has to be six weeks to get into daycare, and often there are waiting lists. I know I will be happy at home. I just need to avoid the tailspin when I get a reminder of jobs that are out there. People always retire. Other moms choose to stay home.
Things will work out.
On the other hand, I think it's important to learn from the past. I really think it would be a mistake not to work (as a part-time sub) at all. The future is uncertain, and I have a family to protect.
Whoever knew getting what you wanted could be so scary?
When I am at work, I want to be teaching. When I am at home, I like being at home and dread work.
Karl wants to go back to school (and continue working full-time), and he really wants me to stay home more. While even more days at home sounds lovely.....I just don't feel secure doing that. As it is, I am only working about two days a week. He wants me to cut back to none or one at the most. That should be my dream, right? But it's so scary.
I know on my resume, I will be able to put a continuous work history in the education field, and that's a good thing, but I still worry. At what age do I become too old to hire into a new position? I don't know the answer.
Where's my alternate universe?
Either way, I just don't see how I can go back to work a couple weeks after a baby is born. I keep trying to figure it out, but it just won't work. Even if I am willing to pay the childcare costs for two kids in daycare, a baby has to be six weeks to get into daycare, and often there are waiting lists. I know I will be happy at home. I just need to avoid the tailspin when I get a reminder of jobs that are out there. People always retire. Other moms choose to stay home.
Things will work out.
On the other hand, I think it's important to learn from the past. I really think it would be a mistake not to work (as a part-time sub) at all. The future is uncertain, and I have a family to protect.
Whoever knew getting what you wanted could be so scary?
No Comments Yet, Leave Yours!