I like nice things. I want nice things. I want people to know I have nice things.
This goes against most of the core values I claim to have, but hey, I am inundated with the same ads, tv shows (which are sort of ads for nice clothes and well-decorated homes), and magazines.
I want a Keurig. Never mind that they are over one hundred dollars, cost nearly 60 cents a cup from what I can tell, and only last a year or two from the reviews (and we drink a lot of coffee-ours would probably go sooner). They just look so cool. And doesn't everyone else have one? And wouldn't it be fun to set up a little coffee center at the table overlooking the backyard?
And I want a leather purse. I have seen some go for less than $100 but they don't have the fancy name. But I sub in schools like Kickapoo and Cherokee where even the girls have nicer purses than me. And I want one. I know I could justify one that was decent quality and less than 100. But not a Coach bag or one of similar name. And I also know I could take care of the problem by just carrying a tote bag instead. But how would people know I am not trashy if I don't have a nice purse when shopping and just going out. Yeah. It's absurd.
And clothes. I can live with just one or two work outfits, although my black cardigan has a hole in the shoulder and my favorite silver glitter turtleneck just turned pinkish when I washed it with a new red tablecloth. :o(. But my shoes are cheap. Although a pair of tall black manmade boots can look pretty nice, even if not real leather. So what's my problem? I have sort of outgrown tshirts. I feel childish when I wear them for anything besides sleep and cleaning. Unless it's a nice tshirt, preferably with a little polo symbol on the chest.
But underlying all this is the knowledge that if I could just put a little away here and there, I would ultimately have a better life. Noone who comes over gives a darn about the name of my purse or the symbol on my shirt or even the brand of my coffee maker. But those little K-cup trees are so cute and cafeish. But ultimately, they are more waste and cost so much more. And you throw trash away with each cup of coffee. That's ridiculous. It reminds me of Brave New World, where having consumable games and toys was discussed briefly at the beginning. I never finished the book. It made me sad.
Remember when we used to run outside and play kickball with the neighbor kids? Taryn hasn't even met any neighbors.
But Taryn's a snob. She reminds me of myself at her age. Wanting money, to be respectable. Well, except Taryn is in great shape and if I were young, I would say she looks "hot". I never looked "hot". I was born frumpy. I wrote down and studied the clothing of girls who looked good. I planned imaginary wardrobes. This was before ebay. Before I knew how to find good stuff at yard sales and thrift stores. Before I realized even the mall has really good sales. At least she lives in today's world where it's possible to find good gently used "nice" brands. Although now, it's almost the expectation that one has them. Or maybe it was then. I remember how badly I wanted a pair of $20 Keds. And settling for $5 K-mart knockoffs.
Then there is Tierney, who could not begin to care less about brands. This makes her unfashionable, but if she just learned to distinguish quality, she'd be ultimately much wiser than her sister and me.
A shallow post.
I just love this smile.
And these eyes!
Decking the halls
Remember blue-eyed baby Liam?
Sideways...
I just love this smile.
And these eyes!
Decking the halls
Remember blue-eyed baby Liam?
Sideways...
