The Basement

The plumber finally came and fixed the leaks in the upstairs bathroom, but in the process was searching around the house for the shutoff for the water (he found it outside). As he walked ALL over the basement including looking at Tierney and Caleb's rooms, I realized our basement looks like something off of an episode of Hoarders. Tierney had even left her trash bags from the last time she cleaned in by her bedroom door.

I do not harbor illusions of being a good housekeeper. But I am so embarrassed.  And why I am keeping boxes of used baby/toddler clothes when they are so easy to replace. How long do I keep all my boxes of teacher books? And what about the furniture Tierney wants to keep for when she moves out. What about the microwave? And that doesn't even touch the mounds of clothes on their bedroom floors. At least the rest of the house, while cluttered, was not completely humiliating.
I wonder what a storage unit would cost for the furniture for Tierney.

So this weekend:

Tierney must throw those bags out Friday.
The kids need to pick up their piles of clothes Friday.
I will get rid of baby clothes that no longer fit.
I will get rid of all but the cutest toddler clothes.

Why are they so gross? 

Huh.

I think Taryn has scoliosis. That's a new one. This parenting thing never lets up, does it?


Sigh. Guess I'll start looking for a doctor tomorrow.

A Lovely January Day

It was a nice day today in Southwest Missouri..No Winter Storm Luna here! P.S. Naming winter storms? Really? It's winter.

A Lovely Morning Spot

This lovely quilt was made by the ladies at St. Joseph when my mom was in the hospital. It was delivered and warmed her feet those last few days...

Living Room

The plan had been some sort of bright modern update to my living room.

http://pinterest.com/parfaite/spruce-up-living-room/


But then I inherited these lovely tables from my mom:

The set consists of two end tables and an oval coffee table. As you can see, this changes the plan. I just can't see a Queen Anne table sitting on a shag rug. Guess I'll have to keep thinking. Also my entire family has nixed the slipcovers. If I could make custommade that might be okay, but...Karl and I are now thinking quilts. I want all white, he wants a mix of bright colors. I suppose I will have to win. 

Parenting Thoughts

Now that I have an 18 year old I feel qualified to give my thoughts on raising kids (not that that stopped me before!). I still most likely hold some misconceptions, but here are some things I now believe...

1) Your children are individuals. You may see the future doctor, but she may just decide that blood is icky and science even ickier.

2) Demand more. I let my children skate by because I believed this was their choice. I now realize that excellence opens more doors and offers more choice, than mediocrity. This may seem obvious to some of you, but it wasn't to me until my child didn't have the grades and test scores to get into a 4 year college.

3) Mothering instincts are strong and primal. Sometimes you should listen to them. At other times you  have to step back and realize we are living in a complex modern society, not swinging from trees, and you can't slap the little girls who are snubbing your daughter, and you can't say exactly what you want because that will warp your own child's perception of the world. This is harder than it sounds.

4) It goes by so so so fast. Even if the years drag, they are legal adults before you know it.

5) There are benefits to conforming. A boy who can't play a pickup game of basketball may be at a social disadvantage later, no matter how much you hate lame-o sports, and whether it's "right or wrong".

6) The world doesn't care and isn't fair. There are wonderfully kind helpers in the world, and modern society strives to make things a bit more fair (education, food and medicine for those in poverty), but some people will always have an advantage. Work to right what you believe needs righting, but don't let inequities and inequalities make you bitter or use them as an excuse, and make sure your kids know that, too.

7) Related to that is open your mind and heart. Not everyone can become the boss. Be careful you aren't creating a world where we see people as winners and losers.

8) Bite your tongue. Over and over and over again. I struggle with this. I am a naturally critical person, and I don't see why others don't want to hear my honest criticism...but I am trying to remind myself that my "honest criticism" may be seen as my "negative opinion".

9) Don't point out mistakes unnecessarily. If your child screws up a routine or song, smile, because you know how hard her or she worked, and you may not know how hard it is to stick a routine under pressure. If she wants to talk about, let her. But otherwise, be the doting parent, not the fault-picking coach.

10) Make them do chores. It won't kill them, and it will help you.

11) Get control of electronics earlier and be firm. I haven't done this, and I believe it has had a detrimental effect on my kids' grades and performance.

12) Teach them early that life isn't just what you get out of it, but what you put in. Recreation should NOT be the sole purpose of a teenager. I am guilty of this. Imagine what a world we would have if we all required our kids to get out and do some good, instead of just college application building.

13) Teach them to try the harder thing. Even something as simple as choosing a magazine over TV and a book over a magazine.

14) Raise them to love learning. There is nothing more horrifying than realizing your children don't pick up a book or look up true information, but instead go with their own hunches and misconceptions-and are spreading them around out loud.

15) When you look back at your regrets and mistakes, don't let that color your feelings for your child. Maybe you could have done things differently, but there is a living, breathing, feeling person of tremendous worth whom (?) you can still influence.

16) Even if all everything you say seems to fall on deaf ears, set an example. Sometimes they may just be waiting to grow up and get out on their to use those fabulous skills you showed them.

17) You are growing, too. So forgive yourself and definitely forgive them. We are all in this together.


Well, Liam's up. I may add to this as they come to me.