Could it be? (A note on work plans)

A moment to type?

Liam is glued to another Bob the Builder episode. He is all about the heavy machinery. Gabe WAS sleeping, although now I hear him grunting and stirring a bit.

The past two weeks have been easy and hard. Easy on me. I feel great and like I never had a baby, except (TMI ALERT!!!!) for the lovely perky, milk-filled (and leaking) breasts. Wish they'd stay this firm!

ANYWAY, the hard part. Mainly the baby wanting to be held all the time (those silly newborns), and Liam not leaving the baby alone. He pushes the swing, tries to pick the baby up, pees all over the floor, screams loudly when I try to take him to the store (like screaming to hear his voice, not cry-screaming), occasionally slaps the baby, tries to lay his big heavy head on the baby like he's a pillow, and generally wears me out. I feel badly about this because he is only 28 months, he hardly ever gets outside now, and I can't give him the attention I want to give him. I lost my temper last week, and told him I was going to find a school for him, to which he perked up and said, "I am going to school?" And today when the kids got in the car to leave for school, he again asked, "Can I go to preschool?"
I am mad that I said it, I am upset that he wants to go to school. Part of me thinks two or three mornings a week isn't a big deal, and part of me knows that it would be money I can't afford, and I worry. I worry the other kids won't like him as much as we do. I worry the teachers won't be that interested in my little "ginger" as the girls call him. I worry that two is just too young to put out into the hard world, especially since he has taken this downturn in the pottytraining.

I need to start working. I guess I could just not work, with Karl's student loan money coming in at some point. But, I will lose my place as a Springfield sub, and they have waiting lists for positions, and I don't like not having money coming into my bank. My mom plans to watch the boys on Mondays and Fridays, and I would pay her $20 a day. But right now, I think all day is just too much. It's hard on me sometimes. And I don't think I can go all day without nursing, yet. Ouch! A half day will be hard enough.

So, I guess I will start with half-days. I know once I am at work I will forget about the boys. A classroom full of responsibility tends to be all-consuming. But I still worry.

I am going to try a half day on Wednesday. I would prefer morning to get it over with, but I afternoon would be easier on Karl (since Liam would nap). Then if my mom is up to it, I will try a half day on Friday if I can find one and if it's worth it for $10 for her. If Karl has to leave at 1:15 or 1:30, I guess she would only have to watch them for a couple hours (the big kids get home by 3:30) and if Liam is sleeping for a big chunk of that it won't be so bad.

I could have went to work fulltime, physically at this point, but I tend to forget about the emotional part. It's hard!

As far as the kids themselves. I am, of course, completely in love with Liam. He's a pain at times, but those big blue eyes, and that chubby face just steal my heart. I think he is overweight, but Karl doesn't see it. I think we are feeding him like he's bigger and has more choices. I need to limit the snacking and sugar. That's really hard in a house with three teenagers.

Gabe is very, very sweet. So far he just wants to be held and nursed. We fought a nasty case of thrush last week (acidophilus (spell?) capsules by mouth for me and powder spread into Gabe's mouth and a vinegar/water rinse for me to clean with after feedings). Now he just has a diaper rash, which may be related,  hard to know for sure. BUT so far, Gabe cries whenever we go in the car, which is a bit frustrating. He sleeps fairly well at night. Okay, he's sleeping with me. He will not sleep in his cradle, so I cradle his head on my arm, so he can eat and I get a decent amount of sleep. His doctor would not approve, but I am afraid if i try to sit up and feed him overnight, I will fall asleep and drop him. Lesser of two evils, I suppose. And the research is conflicting. Some research has shown that kids who sleep with their moms are less likely to die because the mom can respond to their needs more quickly. But he's breastfed and I don't smoke, and he seems healthy. As long as I don't take up heavy drinking, it should be fine.

Well, Gabe is definitely stirring now.

Have a good one!

I love anything Nautical!

Fashion...Decor...Anything that reminds me of the New England sea...Nantucket...stripes...Maine...Moby Dick...Ahab's Wife...I want to sail...I want a yacht....




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So   when I win the big powerball, if you can't find me in Manhattan, search for me here...


I'm Scuppers the Sailor Dog--
I can sail in a gale
right over a whale
under full sail 
in a fog.

Saturday's Recap

Saturday was great!
Well, the morning was filled with what has become the usual: fielding Liam's attempts to maim and disfigure his little brother. Of course they aren't intentional attempts. He just wants to pick the baby up when no one is looking (so we must always be looking!) and does occasionally slap him on the head to see what Mom will do. She tends to get mad and put him in timeout..when she can. Liam has also caught on to the fact that I can do very little when I am nursing the baby.

Gabe likes to cluster nurse all morning, but then he tends to sleep a good chunk of the late afternoon (so far anyway). So the mornings are pretty useless-I am on here because Liam is still sleeping and Gabe is down for one of his (probably) short naps.  I ought to wake Liam up, so his nap will be early and light and he will fall asleep at a decent hour and not harass Taryn late into the evening. We really need to get the bedrooms done.

Karl worked overtime from 10 until 2, and then we went out to the store. We have lost all of Liam's shoes (except the ones which are too tight), so we stopped by Other Mother's to pick up a pair of sandals. The only shoes in his size were too tight (except black church shoes), so he ended up going barefoot to the grocery store.

I hear Liam now..He likes to kick the wall in the morning.

But while at Other Mothers, I found a tandem stroller for two for only $20!


It is basically like this, BUT older in navy and white (hence, not as current and stylish). They said it was $20, because it was "dirty". But the dust took about two minutes to wipe off! The main problem is going to be folding it and putting in the van, but I'll manage.

So happy!

Karl and I made enchiladas, which would have been great, but something was wrong with the sauce. I don't know if it was old or what, but it had a terrible aftertaste:o(.
Then we had chocolate brownie ice cream with caramel AND fudge, AND I toasted pecan halves to put on it. Delicious!
I had TWO wonderful glasses of Shiraz (despite the fact that all my wine glasses are gone, and I had to drink it out of a Coke glass), and Karl had a Guinness (yuck!), and we watched Crash. We had both watched it once before, years ago, but it's a great movie, and worth watching again.

The only sad thing, is Karl works Sundays now:o(.

So, off to get up the Liameister, and get on with the day! We get to go on our first walk in the stroller today!

It's been 10 days

Ten days have passed since little Gabriel has joined those of us on Earth. I haven't really gone out much. After reading up on some blogs, I thought it might be nice to go to the farmer's market, but Karl is working overtime today, and the thought of taking two little ones out on my own isn't appealing. When my older kids were younger (and I was, too), I would have just done it. Now though, I stop to think of putting them in the car, driving to our destination (Gabriel most likely crying because he wants to nurse...again), putting Liam in the stroller, Gabe in the front carrier, and then...I think maybe I don't want fresh vegetables and an outing that much.

But the fresh, cool air through the open windows is quite delightful.

Umm, I am not cleaning this desk, Mom!

Crap...I do look like my mom.

You've got to be kidding me!

Is it my "stubby" nose?

Growing resigned to the fact.

So...YOU are my dad?

WAhhhhhhh!

I wish I were sailing the deep blue sea!

Mom, I bet you wish you could rotate this!

So much to say, so much to say

Not really. I don't have much of anything to say. My life consists of the kids and TV. I did start reading a new book today on a school in NYC (I think) that doesn't allow any type of ADHD medicines and allows students to self-manage and self-direct their learning (and they get lots of gross motor and free play time). It's pretty interesting. I personally like the traditional classroom atmosphere, but I can see where some kids would really love this type of environment, particularly those not well-suited for the traditional classroom.

Appointment today. Well, she was running late as she always is on Friday, so she was in a big hurry. She said she thought the ultrasound overestimated the size and I agreed ( my belly is much smaller than previous times I have been pregnant). She said last week I was 2cm, 50% effaced and still posterior (meaning my cervix of course). Then she said it was about the same this week. She started to leave..

"Is the baby still breech?' I asked.

"Was it?" Tone of surprise. " What did the ultrasound say?"

"They didn't say in the ultrasound, but you said it was."
She reached down and pressed into my abdomen.
"No, it's head down now."

I muttered something about thinking the head was pressing into my hip instead of my cervix at times, and she said that was quite possible since it was still floating high (I may have weeks left to go).

But now I am totally confused. I woke up absolutely CERTAIN the round "bouncing" ball at the top my chest was a head. I KNOW it wasn't the butt. But I guess it was a foot or knee or something. I feel bad about all the poking and pushing to try and get the baby head down. I really hope it doesn't get a deformed face from all the prodding.

I am sure when she felt my cervix, she felt the head or she would have said something. But, honestly, I am baffled. Did I worry all week for nothing?

When is this baby going to come? I should hold off for one more week before trying "stuff" (cohosh isn't working), like castor oil, but the anxiety is getting to me. 

Too hot!!

I woke up sweating several times, underneath hair damp. I don't want to turn the AC any lower than 74 since our bill was almost $300 this past month, so I am going to have to deal with it. Feel slightly nauseated, but I know I just didn't get enough sleep. Baby is definitely in a different position this morning. I can't say for sure  he is butt up, but it's definitely a butt or back high in my abdomen.
And I am getting some higher kicks again. Let's hope he keeps this up. The expense and recovery of surgery is not ideal. It's frustrating though, because if I were to go into labor prior to my next appt. I will have to go get checked to make sure he is head down very early in labor. If it were a weekday and they could fit me into an appt. great, but if I had to go to L and D to do that, what a pain! I know babies can be born breech, but have you all seen Karl's head? It's not something I would want to attempt. It's likely I won't though. I won't be 38 weeks by the doctor's timetable until Wednesday, and by the real one until next Saturday. My appt. is next Friday. She said I was only 2 cm, thick (which makes no sense as she said I was 70% last week, unless she meant I have 70% to go), and of course the baby was still floating way high. She really shoved and prodded her fingers up there trying to find the head. It wasn't pleasant.

Took the week off of Liam's "schoolwork" because I forgot to request library books. I have several waiting for me now. I'll have to pick them up. Our next week is Kittens and C and 3. I haven't been reviewing like I should either, but geez. I am tired, he is only two. It's not a major deal.

I really need to pick up some food. Ooh! I wonder if we have lemonade? We do!
Stirred and iced now!

Well, crap!

Ultrasound this am estimated the baby at 7'15". Not bad. But, then the doctor said the baby had flipped over. I am so annoyed. And I don't entirely believe her. Why didn't they say anything about that at the ultrasound that was only an hour earlier?

Well, she said they could try and turn it at 39 weeks. I may have to have a homebirth just to avoid a cesarean! So ticked.