Huh.

I think Taryn has scoliosis. That's a new one. This parenting thing never lets up, does it?


Sigh. Guess I'll start looking for a doctor tomorrow.

A Lovely January Day

It was a nice day today in Southwest Missouri..No Winter Storm Luna here! P.S. Naming winter storms? Really? It's winter.

A Lovely Morning Spot

This lovely quilt was made by the ladies at St. Joseph when my mom was in the hospital. It was delivered and warmed her feet those last few days...

Living Room

The plan had been some sort of bright modern update to my living room.

http://pinterest.com/parfaite/spruce-up-living-room/


But then I inherited these lovely tables from my mom:

The set consists of two end tables and an oval coffee table. As you can see, this changes the plan. I just can't see a Queen Anne table sitting on a shag rug. Guess I'll have to keep thinking. Also my entire family has nixed the slipcovers. If I could make custommade that might be okay, but...Karl and I are now thinking quilts. I want all white, he wants a mix of bright colors. I suppose I will have to win. 

Parenting Thoughts

Now that I have an 18 year old I feel qualified to give my thoughts on raising kids (not that that stopped me before!). I still most likely hold some misconceptions, but here are some things I now believe...

1) Your children are individuals. You may see the future doctor, but she may just decide that blood is icky and science even ickier.

2) Demand more. I let my children skate by because I believed this was their choice. I now realize that excellence opens more doors and offers more choice, than mediocrity. This may seem obvious to some of you, but it wasn't to me until my child didn't have the grades and test scores to get into a 4 year college.

3) Mothering instincts are strong and primal. Sometimes you should listen to them. At other times you  have to step back and realize we are living in a complex modern society, not swinging from trees, and you can't slap the little girls who are snubbing your daughter, and you can't say exactly what you want because that will warp your own child's perception of the world. This is harder than it sounds.

4) It goes by so so so fast. Even if the years drag, they are legal adults before you know it.

5) There are benefits to conforming. A boy who can't play a pickup game of basketball may be at a social disadvantage later, no matter how much you hate lame-o sports, and whether it's "right or wrong".

6) The world doesn't care and isn't fair. There are wonderfully kind helpers in the world, and modern society strives to make things a bit more fair (education, food and medicine for those in poverty), but some people will always have an advantage. Work to right what you believe needs righting, but don't let inequities and inequalities make you bitter or use them as an excuse, and make sure your kids know that, too.

7) Related to that is open your mind and heart. Not everyone can become the boss. Be careful you aren't creating a world where we see people as winners and losers.

8) Bite your tongue. Over and over and over again. I struggle with this. I am a naturally critical person, and I don't see why others don't want to hear my honest criticism...but I am trying to remind myself that my "honest criticism" may be seen as my "negative opinion".

9) Don't point out mistakes unnecessarily. If your child screws up a routine or song, smile, because you know how hard her or she worked, and you may not know how hard it is to stick a routine under pressure. If she wants to talk about, let her. But otherwise, be the doting parent, not the fault-picking coach.

10) Make them do chores. It won't kill them, and it will help you.

11) Get control of electronics earlier and be firm. I haven't done this, and I believe it has had a detrimental effect on my kids' grades and performance.

12) Teach them early that life isn't just what you get out of it, but what you put in. Recreation should NOT be the sole purpose of a teenager. I am guilty of this. Imagine what a world we would have if we all required our kids to get out and do some good, instead of just college application building.

13) Teach them to try the harder thing. Even something as simple as choosing a magazine over TV and a book over a magazine.

14) Raise them to love learning. There is nothing more horrifying than realizing your children don't pick up a book or look up true information, but instead go with their own hunches and misconceptions-and are spreading them around out loud.

15) When you look back at your regrets and mistakes, don't let that color your feelings for your child. Maybe you could have done things differently, but there is a living, breathing, feeling person of tremendous worth whom (?) you can still influence.

16) Even if all everything you say seems to fall on deaf ears, set an example. Sometimes they may just be waiting to grow up and get out on their to use those fabulous skills you showed them.

17) You are growing, too. So forgive yourself and definitely forgive them. We are all in this together.


Well, Liam's up. I may add to this as they come to me.

Twas the night before the night before

Taryn made ribbons:

I have some of her whole face, however, she would probably kill me if i posted them.


Gabe looked cute:

I am usually not a fan of noisy, battery-operated toys...but Gabe really like this gift from Oma and Grandpa Evans.

This is sideways Taryn modeling the dress Tierney made her. 

This was is because I love sleeping babies. 

And a video for the Grandparents:

We don't have enough of Liam, but he is still potty-training (my payback for expressing disapproval over kids who weren't trained around two), and thus runs barebutted at home-he can use the potty, he just won't pull down his pants do so- AND the light from the flash always makes him blink, so I can't get a decent picture from him. 

Interesting response for reasons to homeschool

I like this response as it seems schools are going back to the whole language with some phonics, too.

http://www.thepioneerwomansux.com/2011/02/giving-homeschooling-a-bad-name/

"Ironically, the fact that my mother was a school teacher for 30 years played into my decision to homeschool. I got to see how, over the years, the educational standards relaxed and deteriorated, leaving my mom very frustrated over the conflict between what she had always taught, and what the school board now deemed neccessary.

Example: In the olden days, kids were taught to read via phonics. That’s how I was taught. Then, at some point in California (my mom always said the latest education trends started in California) somebody got the idea that teaching reading via the “whole word recognition” concept was better. That was instituted and phonics got thrown out the window.

Years later, it was discovered that kids taught via whole word recognition were doing poorly on reading tests, while those kids still taught via phonics were doing much better. Phonics was suddenly in again.

Then, about ten years before my mom finally was able to retire, she was told to no longer teach spelling and grammar as separate subjects. (She was an English teacher—pardon me, Language Arts.) She asked, “How I am supposed to teach these kids to spell and use proper grammar?” They said, “They’ll learn while they practice writing. Don’t squelch their creativity by correcting their grammar and spelling in the meantime.” They took away the spelling and grammar textbooks…except my mom kept her teacher’s editions (which she paid for) and copied the lessons out of those and kept on teaching spelling and grammar.

Years later, I was teaching freshman composition at the university in my home town. After the first class, one of my students came up to me and said, “Um..is your mom’s name Ginny A____?” I looked at her, and said, “Don’t tell me…my mom was your English teacher in sixth grade.” She said, “Yeah. She was tough but fair.”

That student turned out to be one of my best I ever had. I never had to correct her spelling or her grammar."

But the reason I want to homeschool is to protect my kids from a) getting in trouble for normal things like talking, b) being invisible, c)watching other kids get in trouble all day. Caleb and Taryn both loved preschool and hated public schools. Sure they liked talking with other kids (Caleb a select friend or two), but they didn't like kids getting yelled at and kids misbehaving. I can't tell you how many times Taryn cried about the mean teachers (and she didn't get in trouble). Or how much abuse Caleb had at the hands of his fifth grade class mates (and the teacher said he was just too immature. Maybe he was, but is that reason to be subject to abuse). Now they've grown resigned to it; they don't want to not see their friends, but I wonder...