Drink more water!

We hear all the time we should drink more water. My older kids said their dad buys a big tank of water and that makes it accessible. I don't see myself doing that, but I did find one thing that worked this summer. In the morning I would fill a pitcher with water and ice, and then add slices of lemon or cucumber and place it on the table. It was usually gone by mid-morning.

Also since the last few packages of carrots and the cucumber I have bought have gone bad. I have decided to take the few minutes to actually get them ready to eat. I peeled the skin (letting Liam "help" with the peeler) and then sliced them up into dip-able and easily eatable pieces. We'll see if they go faster this time. 

The Chiefs Suck- and Sibling Rivalry

The KC Chiefs just break my heart. Call me a fair-weather fan-I think I am done.

Pre-haircut

Post haircut (I am getting better and Liam was pretty still this time!)

Now onto my real topic. Sibling Rivalry. Last spring I was congratulating myself on having the best toddler in whole wide world. Yes, I had him. He was sweet, smart, could talk like a big boy and was potty training well.

Now, he slaps an innocent baby, deliberately pees on the floor or couch when he is scolded, and his development seems to be stuck.

Let's dissect this. The hitting. I did some reading and I "know" this is very common. But it's so frustrating. When the boy you love so much hits the helpless other boy you are getting to know, it's not only infuriating, it's confusing. Mama bear instincts are raised, but you can't just write off the older one because you know, he's yours, too. It's so frustrating. Add to that an aching back that makes getting up and down, and picking baby up painful, and...it's been a sad day.

The peeing. Oh sigh. I guess that's the regression they always talk about. Why did I think my angel would not  fall prey to psychology's darker side?

The development. I feel like Liam isn't making progress on his talking. I am probably wrong. He is likely picking up new vocabulary all the time. I just don't see it.

I guess I just hate being another average mom, dealing with normal average problems. I am frustrated that this sibling rivalry will make my son just another average kid instead of the wonderous kid he could have been. I am frustrated that I care. I should be above such worries.
I will probably delete this post. I don't like pimping out my feelings for the entertainment of others. I like expressing myself, but then I feel angry. Who is reading? Besides my relatives? Is it fun for my readers to read about my problems?

Yeah, the back ache is really making me a little grumpy.
Liam is at my mom's. and I am so mad that I can't give him the attention I want him to have. The baby is starting to stir, and somehow I have to bend down and PICK HIM UP. And this hurts so much right now.
And I decide I am going to be cool. But then Liam slaps the baby and I yell. Then I am mad at myself for yelling. But I have to react. I can't just ignore it.

It will get better. And then Gabe will learn to stand up and it will start all over again. If the Tierney/Caleb interactions are any indicator of what will happen.

Oh if only patience could be refilled with a bucket and shovel. Running a little low? Just grab the little shovel and spoon some more in. That's what I need.

Gosh the Chiefs disappoint.

Falling into a rhythm

Well, not a strong rhythm, but a relaxed one. We wake up. I get on the computer until 8:30 or so. It isn't strict computer time as I am making breakfast and caring for Liam and baby. Now, 1.5 hours in the morning on the computer IS a lot. I have no excuses other than I love reading about stuff.

Liam doesn't always nap now, so after lunch I have instituted a "quiet time". Basically I go through the motions of tucking him in, but before I shut the door, I tell him he doesn't have to sleep and can play if he wants. This helps, because I really like the 7pm to 7am sleeping time for him, but I still need a break during the day. After an hour or so I open the door. If he is asleep. I try to wake him, but sometimes he sleeps a bit longer. Half the time he is still awake.

The baby doesn't have a set pattern. He is a very sweet baby. He has a lot more body control than Liam did at his age. He just seems more wiry and stronger. Liam was always big and clunky and had trouble building the neck muscles to lift that head.

I love this softly falling rain. Love love love it! I want to go to Cider days or whatever it is down on Walnut street, but I am not sure I want to brave the rain. Why does it always rain on Cider days? We went there a few years ago when I was pregnant with Liam. I just walked in a daze, slightly nauseated. Then we went home and ordered quikdine sushi. Ah those quiet weekends when the older kids were at their dad's and the younger ones had yet to emerge.

I hear Gabe grunting. His eyes are closed, but he will likely wake soon.

Caleb played for an hour, and then asked to watch "Mighty Machines". It's a pretty cool show for little boys. This episode they are visiting a sawmill and it shows all the machinery used. Liam LOVES the big machine trucks. He is a boy's boy. Except when he sneaks into his sister's room and states, "I need to put my makeup on."

Caleb's been depressed again. I made an appointment with the younger boys pediatrician. I don't know if meds would help, but I can't afford therapy, and can't just stand back and watch him be miserable. I wish he would listen to some of the advice we give him regarding how to talk to people. Even with family, he is inappropriate. He will walk into the room and instead of saying, "Hi, what's up?" he will say, "You all should just go away." Well, I am not a social queen, but I know that isn't a great way to connect to people. Sigh.
The strange thing, he thinks he is dumb, but when I do his work with him, he is quite capable. I don't understand where he got this idea from. He may not LIKE doing work, but he is definitely capable in his schoolwork. He is struggling in ART class. He says he doesn't know why, but in reality, he just isn't telling me. I mean he is either doing the work or he isn't. If he is doing it "wrong" then surely he is getting feedback.  I guess I could ask the teacher. I am so afraid of being one of those pushy, reactive parents, that I probably don't get involved enough. I still feel insecure with teachers. They treat me like I am .... uneducated and lowerclass. I can't help that my older kids don't care about appearances. Maybe I should have forced the issue but I just wanted to let them be who they wanted to be. Is that wrong? What else are they basing this on. That they are getting free lunch? Or maybe this is just my own imagination, because I hate when people act like they know more than me? In regards to how my kids stack up with other, they probably do. I mean they can easily compare them with the other students. BUT...when Taryn was in 5th grade and I was teaching, her teacher asked the kids what their parents did. Taryn said I was a teacher, and she insists her teacher argued with her that I wasn't. I guess that makes me feel bad.

Anyway, getting off subject..I don't know what the subject was. I am enjoying being home. You know with student loans supplementing Karl's income, it isn't half bad. If only he made 10K more. Then we'd feel pretty comfortable. But what could he do? He doesn't like sales. He folds under high stress. Hmmm.

Enjoy this fantastic, gray morning. We deserve the delight after this killer summer.

Love,

Jill

Could it be? (A note on work plans)

A moment to type?

Liam is glued to another Bob the Builder episode. He is all about the heavy machinery. Gabe WAS sleeping, although now I hear him grunting and stirring a bit.

The past two weeks have been easy and hard. Easy on me. I feel great and like I never had a baby, except (TMI ALERT!!!!) for the lovely perky, milk-filled (and leaking) breasts. Wish they'd stay this firm!

ANYWAY, the hard part. Mainly the baby wanting to be held all the time (those silly newborns), and Liam not leaving the baby alone. He pushes the swing, tries to pick the baby up, pees all over the floor, screams loudly when I try to take him to the store (like screaming to hear his voice, not cry-screaming), occasionally slaps the baby, tries to lay his big heavy head on the baby like he's a pillow, and generally wears me out. I feel badly about this because he is only 28 months, he hardly ever gets outside now, and I can't give him the attention I want to give him. I lost my temper last week, and told him I was going to find a school for him, to which he perked up and said, "I am going to school?" And today when the kids got in the car to leave for school, he again asked, "Can I go to preschool?"
I am mad that I said it, I am upset that he wants to go to school. Part of me thinks two or three mornings a week isn't a big deal, and part of me knows that it would be money I can't afford, and I worry. I worry the other kids won't like him as much as we do. I worry the teachers won't be that interested in my little "ginger" as the girls call him. I worry that two is just too young to put out into the hard world, especially since he has taken this downturn in the pottytraining.

I need to start working. I guess I could just not work, with Karl's student loan money coming in at some point. But, I will lose my place as a Springfield sub, and they have waiting lists for positions, and I don't like not having money coming into my bank. My mom plans to watch the boys on Mondays and Fridays, and I would pay her $20 a day. But right now, I think all day is just too much. It's hard on me sometimes. And I don't think I can go all day without nursing, yet. Ouch! A half day will be hard enough.

So, I guess I will start with half-days. I know once I am at work I will forget about the boys. A classroom full of responsibility tends to be all-consuming. But I still worry.

I am going to try a half day on Wednesday. I would prefer morning to get it over with, but I afternoon would be easier on Karl (since Liam would nap). Then if my mom is up to it, I will try a half day on Friday if I can find one and if it's worth it for $10 for her. If Karl has to leave at 1:15 or 1:30, I guess she would only have to watch them for a couple hours (the big kids get home by 3:30) and if Liam is sleeping for a big chunk of that it won't be so bad.

I could have went to work fulltime, physically at this point, but I tend to forget about the emotional part. It's hard!

As far as the kids themselves. I am, of course, completely in love with Liam. He's a pain at times, but those big blue eyes, and that chubby face just steal my heart. I think he is overweight, but Karl doesn't see it. I think we are feeding him like he's bigger and has more choices. I need to limit the snacking and sugar. That's really hard in a house with three teenagers.

Gabe is very, very sweet. So far he just wants to be held and nursed. We fought a nasty case of thrush last week (acidophilus (spell?) capsules by mouth for me and powder spread into Gabe's mouth and a vinegar/water rinse for me to clean with after feedings). Now he just has a diaper rash, which may be related,  hard to know for sure. BUT so far, Gabe cries whenever we go in the car, which is a bit frustrating. He sleeps fairly well at night. Okay, he's sleeping with me. He will not sleep in his cradle, so I cradle his head on my arm, so he can eat and I get a decent amount of sleep. His doctor would not approve, but I am afraid if i try to sit up and feed him overnight, I will fall asleep and drop him. Lesser of two evils, I suppose. And the research is conflicting. Some research has shown that kids who sleep with their moms are less likely to die because the mom can respond to their needs more quickly. But he's breastfed and I don't smoke, and he seems healthy. As long as I don't take up heavy drinking, it should be fine.

Well, Gabe is definitely stirring now.

Have a good one!

I love anything Nautical!

Fashion...Decor...Anything that reminds me of the New England sea...Nantucket...stripes...Maine...Moby Dick...Ahab's Wife...I want to sail...I want a yacht....




http://www.ralphlauren.com/graphics/product_images/pPOLO2-11820068_standard_v360x480.jpg
































So   when I win the big powerball, if you can't find me in Manhattan, search for me here...


I'm Scuppers the Sailor Dog--
I can sail in a gale
right over a whale
under full sail 
in a fog.

Saturday's Recap

Saturday was great!
Well, the morning was filled with what has become the usual: fielding Liam's attempts to maim and disfigure his little brother. Of course they aren't intentional attempts. He just wants to pick the baby up when no one is looking (so we must always be looking!) and does occasionally slap him on the head to see what Mom will do. She tends to get mad and put him in timeout..when she can. Liam has also caught on to the fact that I can do very little when I am nursing the baby.

Gabe likes to cluster nurse all morning, but then he tends to sleep a good chunk of the late afternoon (so far anyway). So the mornings are pretty useless-I am on here because Liam is still sleeping and Gabe is down for one of his (probably) short naps.  I ought to wake Liam up, so his nap will be early and light and he will fall asleep at a decent hour and not harass Taryn late into the evening. We really need to get the bedrooms done.

Karl worked overtime from 10 until 2, and then we went out to the store. We have lost all of Liam's shoes (except the ones which are too tight), so we stopped by Other Mother's to pick up a pair of sandals. The only shoes in his size were too tight (except black church shoes), so he ended up going barefoot to the grocery store.

I hear Liam now..He likes to kick the wall in the morning.

But while at Other Mothers, I found a tandem stroller for two for only $20!


It is basically like this, BUT older in navy and white (hence, not as current and stylish). They said it was $20, because it was "dirty". But the dust took about two minutes to wipe off! The main problem is going to be folding it and putting in the van, but I'll manage.

So happy!

Karl and I made enchiladas, which would have been great, but something was wrong with the sauce. I don't know if it was old or what, but it had a terrible aftertaste:o(.
Then we had chocolate brownie ice cream with caramel AND fudge, AND I toasted pecan halves to put on it. Delicious!
I had TWO wonderful glasses of Shiraz (despite the fact that all my wine glasses are gone, and I had to drink it out of a Coke glass), and Karl had a Guinness (yuck!), and we watched Crash. We had both watched it once before, years ago, but it's a great movie, and worth watching again.

The only sad thing, is Karl works Sundays now:o(.

So, off to get up the Liameister, and get on with the day! We get to go on our first walk in the stroller today!

It's been 10 days

Ten days have passed since little Gabriel has joined those of us on Earth. I haven't really gone out much. After reading up on some blogs, I thought it might be nice to go to the farmer's market, but Karl is working overtime today, and the thought of taking two little ones out on my own isn't appealing. When my older kids were younger (and I was, too), I would have just done it. Now though, I stop to think of putting them in the car, driving to our destination (Gabriel most likely crying because he wants to nurse...again), putting Liam in the stroller, Gabe in the front carrier, and then...I think maybe I don't want fresh vegetables and an outing that much.

But the fresh, cool air through the open windows is quite delightful.

Umm, I am not cleaning this desk, Mom!

Crap...I do look like my mom.

You've got to be kidding me!

Is it my "stubby" nose?

Growing resigned to the fact.

So...YOU are my dad?

WAhhhhhhh!

I wish I were sailing the deep blue sea!

Mom, I bet you wish you could rotate this!